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Quarantine Food Diaries, Split Pea Soup, Illuminating the self and others with gold

I have broken in a million pieces, and repaired myself with the gold of profound compassion more times than I can count, and I will go on doing this until I am no longer.

It isn't searching for a life without suffering that is the goal of enlightenment, it is instead finding compassion within the life of suffering that leads one to an enlightened state.

Our human existence is frought with ways to suffer, or opportunity to surrender into the learning that each moment has to offer.

Inhale and fill up with gold dust, illuminate the inside world of thought, emotion and physical sensation, exhale this spaciousness and buoyancy onto others that are suffering. It is a basic meditative practice, a visualization of creating an inner world of golden wonder and once you have, sharing this with others.

It is so hard to tell someone to be happy, to explain or talk your way out of depression or anxiety or suffering of any kind. If we embody wellbeing and mindfulness by example those that are ready will be drawn to us, but it must start within first.

The darkness of my last year has given me the most precious gift of discipline. The shattering of joy has come swiftly and broken off pieces of me over and over again this year and before, this breaking has taken on many forms, in many relationships and I am learning what to see and how to see and where to anchor more and more everyday. There is a method to recovering one's balance in times of trauma and stress, though not simple it works over and over again, sealing the cracks of suffering with the healing beauty of profound compassion, the gold of our lives.

When we fall out of balance, however that looks, an argument, a thought from within, the state of the world around us and how it impacts us, the first step is to STOP.

Imagine the thoughts, words, images, feelings are like a giant wheel that begins to spin and if allowed to, spins out of control dragging you out of balance, so before this momentum picks up, stop the wheel.

Focus on our breath as the first step.

long inhales and long exhales


See yourself solid and stable as a great oak tree, rooted deep so deeply that your branches no matter how swiftly they are bent by the wind remain strongly held by your reach into the earth.


See what is happening. Seeing the cracks of suffering in yourself brought on from within and from without take a moment to pull back, to witness from outside the personal experience of the suffering. Hold the feeling or experience in your hand and turn it see it objectively.


Accept that you are angry, sad, afraid, do not deny the feelings as they arise


Hold your emotions is if holding a baby, with compassion and love. When we judge our own feelings we are not embracing them, surrender to what you are feeling with love.

Look deeply

When we have become calm like a still body of water we can see deeply to where the anger or sadness really comes from. When anger or sadness or fear threaten our calm the water is agitated and becomes cloudy, once we have calmed, accepted and embraced our pain the water becomes clear enough to see where it all began.


Once seen our pain can teach us about our triggers, where they originate and how to let go of reaction to them in the same way.


Allow the body and mind to rest after the journey you have taken. Sleep, take a warm bath, treat with Chinese herbs or acupuncture.

Make soup

Split Pea Soup


2 cups split peas

1 onion

2 carrots

2 stalks celery

1 ham steak with bone

6-8 cups water

salt pepper


homemade croutons

Chop carrots and celery, saute´in evoo, meanwhile peel onion and char, whole on an open burner.

once your onion is blackened on all sides, roughly chop and add to carrot and celery. Add split peas and large pieces of ham steak ( to give ease of removing later) , add water and bring to a boil, simmer covered for 40 min or until split peas are broken and floury.

Let cool, remove ham pieces and place the rest of the soup into a blender.

Roughly cut up ham and add back into the pea puree.

Homemade croutons:

cut up stale bread and toss in evoo and umami powder, salt, chili flakes and pepper, coat well and lay out on a cookie sheet bake at 350F for 10 min. Voila, croutons. You can use whatever spices you'd like, I love Whole Foods Magic umami powder and a little kick with chilis.

Serve with a drizzle of evoo and the croutons.

Refill your own cup.

Repair yourself.

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